Your tits are I can't wait for
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
