Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
