Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
