New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
handjob tips. give me some.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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