In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
