We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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