remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
