i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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