Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
