i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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