Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
