She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
