All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
