I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
