I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
