if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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