He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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