I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
