she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
