we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
