you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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