How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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