I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
