Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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