remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
