I have demons in me.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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