I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
