Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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