is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
