Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
