everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
