This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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