and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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