Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
