id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
