he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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