Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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