thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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