Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
whose ass print is on the piano?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
