I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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