...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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