So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
