if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
