I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
