i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
