dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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