Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
