I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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