I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
vagina is talking i cant
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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