there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
