you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
